Why You Overthink Everything (And Why It’s Exhausting You)

You don’t just think things through — you keep on overthinking.
You replay moments, question them, and try to get them “right” in your head long after they’ve passed.
Even when nothing is happening, your mind keeps going — trying to fix the past or prepare for what might come next.

It’s Not Just Overthinking

Overthinking is often described as “thinking too much.” In reality, you’re not simply thinking more, your mind is trying to reduce uncertainty, avoid mistakes, and feel in control. But here’s the problem: certainty is not something your mind can fully create, sometimes it’s beyond your control.

So, when something feels uncertain, uncomfortable, or slightly “off,” your brain treats it like a problem that needs solving. In these moments, your mind starts scanning: “What did I miss?”, “What could go wrong?”, “What should I have done differently?”

The Difference Between Problem-Solving and Overthinking

Problem-solving focuses on what you can do. Overthinking focuses on what you can’t control.

Problem-solving:

• moves toward a decision
• stays grounded in the present
• has a natural stopping point

Overthinking:

• loops without resolution
• shifts into “what if” scenarios
• keeps searching for certainty that doesn’t exist

Overthinking is repetitive, endless, and emotionally amplified.

My Example You Can Learn From – So You Don’t Fall into the Same Trap

Let’s say you made a mistake at work; a budget miscalculation means a key part of your campaign can’t be funded.

First, your mind goes into problem-solving mode:

• Where can I reallocate budget?
• What can I cut?
• What are my options?

This kind of thinking is useful, even necessary.

Next, you may also even start thinking about questions like:

• How did I mess this up?
• Why didn’t I catch it earlier?
• Why can’t I pay more attention?

These questions can be useful if they help you improve and you can avoid similar situations in the future.

But the moment you’re trying to control what might (and only MIGHT) happen, you can easily fall into the overthinking trap. So, questions like „what will happen” or „what if” can easily get you stuck in a loop.

• What if this costs me my job?
• What if I’m not good at my job?
• What if I messed up my entire campaign plan?
• What will my boss say? / What if my boss thinks I’m incompetent?

What if these are all assumptions?

Contrary to problem-solving, now you’re creating possible future scenarios to control what might happen instead of handling the actual situation. Firstly, however, this doesn’t mean the outcome will be this severe, secondly, no matter how much you keep thinking, you cannot gain full control over future events, but overthinking will drain your energy in turn.

To sum up, the point of shift is when the focus gets from “what can I do now?” to “what if”.

Why You Can’t Stop Overthinking at Night

During the day, your attention is constantly pulled outward, to conversations, tasks, decisions, notifications and the list goes on.  At night, however, all of that disappears and what’s left is everything your mind didn’t finish processing.

Your brain doesn’t switch off, it switches inward.

This means that when external input decreases, internal activity becomes louder and your thoughts feel more intense and urgent. This is known as cognitive arousal, a state where your mind stays active even when your body is trying to rest.

The reason why it feels impossible to stop is that your brain tries to resolve what feels unfinished, but it actually creates a loop instead, replaying situations, imagining outcomes and trying to figure things out.

The biggest trap however is that you believe if you just think a little more, you will finally feel calm. But at night, your thinking tends to be more emotional, less grounded and your brain treats imagined threats as real. This leads to reinforcing stress, instead of solving the problem.

9 Practical Shifts That Actually Help

1. Notice when thinking turns into overthinking

A simple check:

“Am I getting closer to a decision, or just repeating something I have no control over?”

If it’s the second, you’re not solving, you’re looping.

2. Separate the problem from the thoughts about the problem

Before trying to solve anything, ask yourself: “Is this an actual problem right now, or a thought about a possible problem?”  The answer might get you back into reality.

“I made a mistake” is problem.

“I might get fired” is a thought.

What if the total opposite will happen that you fear right now?

Staying with our example, what if you’re not incompetent? What if your boss only thinks, okay, you underestimated the budget this time, but the impact of your work is much more valuable than this one mistake. Your plan is already solid, so they might help you find some more source in the end.

The question of how you can improve from this mistake, though, might be valid to reflect upon, but that’s already something you have control over. And, it still might not be something you have to find out at night. This leads me to the next point.

3. Give your thoughts a limit

Instead of “How do I solve this right now?”, ask:

“Is this something I can solve at 2 AM?”

Most of the time, the answer is no. Especially not finding a better solution than with a rested, clearer head.

And recognizing that is what allows your mind to start letting go.

Just remind yourself: “I don’t solve life at 2 AM.”

4. You can learn to manage overthinking

Overthinking will not stop by itself. It is driven by the urge to find the right answer. At some point, you must decide that more thinking is not more helpful.

Try replacing overthinking with this line:

“I will come back to this tomorrow with a clearer mind.”

This gives the control back to you.

5. Replace “figuring it out” with “choosing a direction”

You don’t need perfect clarity to move forward. You only need a decision. Instead of finding the perfect solution, a next step might also be enough to get you out of the loop. Just ask yourself:

“What is the next reasonable step I can take?”

6. Name the pattern while it’s happening

This technique provides distance from your thoughts and helps interrupt the loop of overthinking. Instead of automatically reacting to every thought as if it needs solving, you pause and name what is happening: “This is overthinking.” It may sound simple, but it changes your position completely, because instead of being inside the thought, you start observing it.

In other words, you’re no longer asking: “What should I do about this?” You’re rather noticing: “What is my mind doing right now?”

That small shift creates space. It reminds you that not every thought is a problem, and not every thought needs your attention. And the more you practice it, the easier it becomes to catch the pattern earlier — before it pulls you deeper into the loop.

In short, you’re not stopping the thought, you’re changing your relationship to it.

7. Get it out of your head

If your mind won’t stop, write it down. You don’t need to analyze or solve the situation, you just need a brain dump to get the burden off your chest. (This also helps create distance as you externalize the issue).

If you don’t feel comfortable with writing, or you cannot write in the moment when your thoughts are taking over, you can also use your phone and record yourself talking it through. Talk through what happened and what you’re afraid of as if you were talking to a friend or your partner. The method is similar to writing: you don’t need to brainstorm possible solutions or strategies, you don’t even need to give yourself any advice, just say what’s on your mind.

From my experience, voice recording is even more powerful, because a few weeks later when I listened back to my recording, I could hear my emotions, and also, what was exaggerated, what was fear and what was real problem. I was listening to my own voice as if someone else was telling it to me, and I could understand how I could improve the way I manage my work to avoid similar mistakes in the future.

8. Break the loop physically

As overthinking lives in your head, sometimes the way out is not mental, it’s physical.

To break this loop, you might try these tricks:

• go for a short walk, move your body
• change environment (going to a different room)
• drink some water

9. Interrupt overthinking through your body

Your breath is one of the few things that can calm your body without needing to solve anything. When you feel your thoughts are taking over, instead of trying to stop them, shift your attention to your breathing. It shifts your body out of stress response.

Just take a comfortable position and breathe slowly and calmly. Turn your attention to your breathing and notice as it is happening. 

When your thoughts pull you back in – and they will – return your attention to your breathing again.

You don’t have to empty your mind, because the way out of overthinking is not through more thinking. Just keeping your attention on your breathing is enough to give your mind something else to hold onto, until you step out of the loop entirely.

Closing thought

You don’t need to control every outcome, and you don’t need to solve everything in your head. Sometimes clarity comes from stepping out of the loop and you can interrupt the cycle of heavy thoughts and worries.

Which part of this feels most familiar to you? If this resonates with you, you might want to learn why you feel mentally drained and recognize the quiet signs of burnout, as well.

Gentle reminder: The content on SelfWorkNotes is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical, psychological, legal or financial advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your personal situation.